Lois Joanne Lane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
presspasskey) wrote2012-09-30 07:13 pm
presspasskey) wrote2012-09-30 07:13 pm
Entry tags:
The Smallville Drinking Game!
The Smallville Drinking Game!
General Rule Set
(Note: Some seasons may have additional, season-specific rules.)
(Note: Subject to editing; send mail/comment with further rules suggestions, or season-specific ones!)
* = Disqualified for instant death by alcohol poisoning at viewer discretion
DISCLAIMER: This drinking came is capable of killing at least a roomful of people drinking sequentially. Play at your own risk.
- Every time the plot is PERFECTLY REASONABLE and then the writers(/characters) do something other than the obvious and reasonable thing to do.
- Every time there is gratuitous red material to imply the cape.
- Every time they go into really, really stupid and badly done bullet-time.
- Every time someone's memory gets erased, thereby hiding Clark's secret.
- Every time someone says the Luthors are bad news and this is treated like a stunning, previously unknown revelation.
- Every time Lex sketches on both Lana and Clark at the same time.
Corollary: Or Lana and Chloe.
Corollary: Or Chloe and Clark.
Corollary: Two drinks if all three at once.
- Every time Lana having a consistent personality is undermined for the sake of the writers/producers objectifying her.*
- Every time Lana does something totally inexplicable.*
- Every time Clark walks away from being perfectly badass and actually growing up, because of Lana.
- Every time Lana is likened (or implied to be likened) to Kryptonite.
- Every time Lana or Chloe does something unethical or amoral and no one blinks an eye.
Corollary: Every time Lana does something unethical or amoral and gets applauded for her actions.
- Every time Chloe plays Captain Exposition.*
- Every time Chloe gets to be crazy-Chloe!
- Every time Chloe bitterly makes a reference to how Clark is blindly in love with Lana.*
- Every time Chloe swears, especially to a boyfriend, that she's really and truly over Clark this time promise. (Distinct!)
- Every time Chloe (seasons 1-3) or Lois (seasons 4-10) obliviously says something way too on-the-nose.
- Every time there is a relationship that has more chemistry than the one currently supposed to be going on.
Corollary/Sub-category: Any time someone comments on Lois/Clark chemistry, everyone takes note of it--and then blithely acts like they've never considered it before and promptly forget it existed.
- Every time Jonathan tells Clark he can't do something because he's not normal, because people might think he's not normal--when the recommended behavior makes people think Clark's not normal.
- Every time there is some kind of Jesus/angelic/etc imagery in relation to Clark.
- Every time their "metaphor" (hint: they aren't good at them) puts Clark and Lana in the Father and Mother roles to someone.
- Every time Clark serves as a moral compass for another DC superhero, when in the comics they are a hero in their own right.
- Every time someone *just* misses walking in on Clark doing farm chores ridiculously.
Corollary: Double if they walk away for three seconds and Clark puts a fence post in the ground/lifts a tractor out of the mud while they're gone and they don't even notice.
Corollary: Anytime Clark does something with his powers that, at the same time, someone else does a completely mundane, normal way, making it clear he really didn't need to do that.
DISQUALIFIED, ON THE BASIS OF CAUSING INSTANT DEATH BY ALCOHOL POISONING:
- Every time there is an Anvil reference to general Superman canon/trivia.
- Every time Lana pointlessly distracts Clark.
- Every time Jor-El AI is a dick.
BONUS:
Finish the bottle if the writers epically mangle the English language.
General Rule Set
(Note: Some seasons may have additional, season-specific rules.)
(Note: Subject to editing; send mail/comment with further rules suggestions, or season-specific ones!)
* = Disqualified for instant death by alcohol poisoning at viewer discretion
DISCLAIMER: This drinking came is capable of killing at least a roomful of people drinking sequentially. Play at your own risk.
- Every time the plot is PERFECTLY REASONABLE and then the writers(/characters) do something other than the obvious and reasonable thing to do.
- Every time there is gratuitous red material to imply the cape.
- Every time they go into really, really stupid and badly done bullet-time.
- Every time someone's memory gets erased, thereby hiding Clark's secret.
- Every time someone says the Luthors are bad news and this is treated like a stunning, previously unknown revelation.
- Every time Lex sketches on both Lana and Clark at the same time.
Corollary: Or Lana and Chloe.
Corollary: Or Chloe and Clark.
Corollary: Two drinks if all three at once.
- Every time Lana having a consistent personality is undermined for the sake of the writers/producers objectifying her.*
- Every time Lana does something totally inexplicable.*
- Every time Clark walks away from being perfectly badass and actually growing up, because of Lana.
- Every time Lana is likened (or implied to be likened) to Kryptonite.
- Every time Lana or Chloe does something unethical or amoral and no one blinks an eye.
Corollary: Every time Lana does something unethical or amoral and gets applauded for her actions.
- Every time Chloe plays Captain Exposition.*
- Every time Chloe gets to be crazy-Chloe!
- Every time Chloe bitterly makes a reference to how Clark is blindly in love with Lana.*
- Every time Chloe swears, especially to a boyfriend, that she's really and truly over Clark this time promise. (Distinct!)
- Every time Chloe (seasons 1-3) or Lois (seasons 4-10) obliviously says something way too on-the-nose.
- Every time there is a relationship that has more chemistry than the one currently supposed to be going on.
Corollary/Sub-category: Any time someone comments on Lois/Clark chemistry, everyone takes note of it--and then blithely acts like they've never considered it before and promptly forget it existed.
- Every time Jonathan tells Clark he can't do something because he's not normal, because people might think he's not normal--when the recommended behavior makes people think Clark's not normal.
- Every time there is some kind of Jesus/angelic/etc imagery in relation to Clark.
- Every time their "metaphor" (hint: they aren't good at them) puts Clark and Lana in the Father and Mother roles to someone.
- Every time Clark serves as a moral compass for another DC superhero, when in the comics they are a hero in their own right.
- Every time someone *just* misses walking in on Clark doing farm chores ridiculously.
Corollary: Double if they walk away for three seconds and Clark puts a fence post in the ground/lifts a tractor out of the mud while they're gone and they don't even notice.
Corollary: Anytime Clark does something with his powers that, at the same time, someone else does a completely mundane, normal way, making it clear he really didn't need to do that.
DISQUALIFIED, ON THE BASIS OF CAUSING INSTANT DEATH BY ALCOHOL POISONING:
- Every time there is an Anvil reference to general Superman canon/trivia.
- Every time Lana pointlessly distracts Clark.
- Every time Jor-El AI is a dick.
BONUS:
Finish the bottle if the writers epically mangle the English language.